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pshobbes479
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 320
22934 Credits
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 Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:12 am Post subject: |
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| and i care because???? ...... oh right i dont give a rats arse |
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coolguy68
Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Posts: 443
23437 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:24 am Post subject: |
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arse???? What are we in England??
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pshobbes479
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 320
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:51 am Post subject: |
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| yea thats right we are... got a problem? |
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coolguy68
Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Posts: 443
23437 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.
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pshobbes479
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 320
22934 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| i remember hearing that joke back when i was in elementary school |
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gamesmaster
Moderator
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 509
26521 Credits
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Have the jokes gotta be clean. |
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ICBM
Moderator
Creator of The Food Chain
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 1008
40616 Credits
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monopoly man 123
dont know
Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 537
24799 Credits
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:06 am Post subject: one of mine! |
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why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  |
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Delilah
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
100 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject: Re: jokes!! |
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| monopoly man 123 wrote: | | Anyone have any cool funny jokes? If u do, reply to this post with the joke's question and and answer!! |
Why does Tarzan wash gis pants every day?
ans ....To keep his nuts jungle fresh |
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Delilah
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
100 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject: Re: jokes!! |
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| monopoly man 123 wrote: | | Anyone have any cool funny jokes? If u do, reply to this post with the joke's question and and answer!! |
Why does Tarzan wash gis pants every day?
ans ....To keep his nuts jungle fresh |
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potfest
Toking on a stogie playing AB..
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 413
20818 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:16 pm Post subject: Microsoft VS. GM |
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At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the automotive indusrty by stating: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars that cost $25.00 and get 1,00 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bills comment, General Motors issued A press release making the following statement: "If we (GM) had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1) for no reson whatsoever, your car would crash twice per day.
2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3) Your car would occasionally stop on the freeway without reason. In order to get started again, you would have to pull off to the side of the road, close all the windowsshut off the car resart it and open all the windows again. For some unknown reason, you would simply do this without question.
4) Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to resart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person could use the car at one time unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT", but then you would also have to buy more seats.
6) The new seats you would need would force everyone to have the same size butt.
7) You would press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
 The oil warning light, water warning light, and alternator warning light would all be replaced by a single "Unidentified System Error" light.
9) The air bag would ask ur freshly mangled body "are you sure" before going off.
10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you back inuntill you simultaneously lifted the driver side door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
11) The radio antenna would be internally mounted on the passenger side of the car.
12) buying a new car would force you to also purchase a new set of Deluxe Rand McNally road maps, dispite the fact that you niether need nor want them. Attempting to delet this otion would immediately cause your cars performance to diminish by 50% or more.
13) every time GM introduced a new car, people would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the old controls would function in the new car.
14) Macintosh would make a car that was five times faster, ten times more reliable and easier to mantain, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads." |
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bannilla
Where ever evil treads!... or wherever theres icecream...or.. well.. england mostly ^^
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 40
2100 Credits
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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thats a very funny (slightly nerdy , guess thats why i liked it) joke 
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to do list; game, eat, game, drink, game,game... oh and game |
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monopoly man 123
dont know
Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 537
24799 Credits
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:26 am Post subject: lol |
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the monkey fell out of the tree because it was dead lol  |
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bannilla
Where ever evil treads!... or wherever theres icecream...or.. well.. england mostly ^^
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 40
2100 Credits
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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why did i fall out of that tree?
monkey hit me...
almost as bad as "why did the kid fall off his bike?"
~~~ someone threw a fridge at him....
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to do list; game, eat, game, drink, game,game... oh and game |
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amoneymaker
Joined: 14 Nov 2007
Posts: 295
9713 Credits
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:50 pm Post subject: Represent |
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| coolguy68 wrote: | | I resent that |
Do you represent your gamer picture because we all know thats not true.
Ha HA HA HA
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